Intervene Skillfully: Make Conscious Choices

by Ed O'Malley

How often do you really make a conscious choice? Most of us probably go about our day doing less “conscious choosing” and more “floating.”  Float from one meeting to the next, one month to the next, one project to the next. Going through the routine. Not thinking much about it.

We make hundreds of choices every day (i.e. what to wear to this event, who to talk with during the break in meetings, which emails to respond to first, what items to remove from your to-do list, etc.), but few of them are deliberate and conscious. Few of them are strategic and purposeful. Most of them are unconscious and are lacking logic or strategy.

To lead effectively you must be able to see the choices coming and make conscious choices related to your purpose. Many coaches in basketball say that if their team deflects the ball while on defense at least 30 times they should win the game. There’s probably a corollary with choices and leadership. Making a certain number of conscious, deliberate choices each day probably equates to whether you are leading or not.

During his recent jury service, Ed was struck with how hard it was for some members of the jury to make a choice – guilty or not guilty. It was a murder case and a guilty verdict would result in a 30-40 year sentence. It was a complicated case, up until the point the prosecutors played a taped confession for us. Then it was pretty clear. He was guilty. And even with that evidence, three jurors struggled to make a choice. They couldn’t present clear evidence he was innocent. They were just crushed by the weight of the decision.

It’s hard to lead if you can’t get comfortable with making choices – conscious choices, deliberate choices where you clearly choose something over something else. Knowing your own purpose, understanding what others care about and evaluating the risks of leadership are all part of making conscious choices. Leadership is risky. So the more conscious and purposeful your efforts the higher your chances of success.

How do you make conscious choices?

• Be grounded in purpose. You have a vision and know what progress looks like.
• Choose from a variety of options. You’ve considered multiple interpretations and points of view and chosen among several possible ways forward.
• Take smart risks. It’s not about eliminating risks. Rather you know the risks and are ready to learn from whatever happens.  Ask yourself the tough questions before you start asking others.

Intellectually, this sounds like it should be easy once you’re aware of it, but actually doing it is another story.  Amanda learned this over the summer when her family came to visit.  The unspoken, well even spoken, rule for family visits was for the refrigerator to always be stocked with food that everyone enjoys eating – including a hearty supply of soda.  In an effort to make changes for a healthier lifestyle, Amanda and her husband tried to rarely have soda in their refrigerator anymore.  They had a difficult choice to make with the impending arrival of her parents – to stock the fridge with soda or not?

Amanda’s purpose was clear – try to make the healthy choice the easier choice for everyone in the house.  She thought about the many options for what to do.  She could still purchase soda, just not as much.  She could wait until they arrived and then decide.  She could not buy it at all.  After considering the options, she thought about the many interpretations her parents might make if she didn’t have any soda available.  They might be upset.  She could look like she didn’t prepare for their visit and risk them thinking it wasn’t important – they weren’t important?  They could misinterpret her action as disrespect.

At the end of the day though, her purpose was clear.  She knew the risks and it was time to make a decision – no soda in the fridge.  And while it sounds like, “Come on.  It’s only soda!” the values and loyalties ran way deeper to gut level for Amanda in this adaptive challenge.  Her parents arrived, and the lack of soda was definitely noticed, but at the end of the day, a point was made.  It doesn’t mean the family went cold turkey on drinking soda, but it does mean there was a brief shock to the system for a moment.  A conscious choice was made, an experiment run and now the cycle of exercising leadership can begin again.

What does making conscious choices look like?

• Engage in conversation. Talk with a variety of stakeholders including those with opposing views.
• Ask tough questions. Press beyond the easy answers.
• Be clear about purpose. Help others see the link between your chsen way forward and the intended outcome.
• Allow time. If it’s happening fast, you are probably missing something. Gather your data, assess multiple options and understand the risks involved.

How do you know if you made a conscious choice?

• Did you think about your intervention before jumping in?
• Can you make observations and interpretations about the choice you made?
• Can you determine another intervention as a result?
• Did you feel the heat raise?

Q and A

Question: I just started a new job.  I’m known for jumping right in to projects and getting really involved.  How can I be most effective as “the new guy” and also not get in over my head too quickly?

Answer:

What History Tells Us

Inspiration

“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes…and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made.” ~Wayne Dyer

Resources

Book: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg

Song: “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot